


When the Curtain is Drawn

by elliebird



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Past Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliebird/pseuds/elliebird
Summary: I just really wanted to write an ode to the classic WB/CW dramas from back in the day and my love of the overwrought, heart in your throat love confessions to which teenage me hung onto every word. And if it's a love confession in the rain? GOD. Give me a frantic, breathless, rain soaked kiss. Give me the perfect song starting soft and swelling as the tension rises. GIVE IT TO ME.
Relationships: Forrest Long/Alex Manes
Comments: 9
Kudos: 51





	When the Curtain is Drawn

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hypnotised by Years & Years. Written for Missing Alex Manes over on Tumblr. The prompt was: love | family, self-worth, respect, expressions of love

The first time Alex kissed Forrest in public, they’d been seeing each other for several weeks. He leaned across the table at the Crashdown, as effortless as if he’d been publicly kissing boys in Roswell his whole life, and kissed the taste of whipped cream from Forrest’s lips. 

He remembered the enormity of the moment. Forrest’s laugh, the light in Liz’s eyes as she brought them a sundae _on the house _, the way Forrest knocked his boot against Alex’s underneath the table.__

__Months later, it wasn’t quite second nature but it no longer felt momentous, earth shaking._ _

__“Oh, it’s like that?” Forrest laughed as Alex backed him against the wall behind the swinging doors. A local band was playing and the Pony was packed. The space here was dimly lit, hidden from view except for anyone looking to use the restroom._ _

__“What can I say,” Alex said, pushing his hands inside Forrest’s jacket to settle at his hips. Forrest watched him with smiling eyes. Nearly six months in and Alex was still getting used to the thrill, the rush down his spine at the way Forrest looked at him._ _

__Alex’s knowledge of how a relationship was supposed to work had been gained in the half year since he and Forrest started seeing each other. Openness, honesty about what he was feeling, it was all new. He still hesitated, still questioned whether to share himself or disconnect._ _

__Forrest stayed with him, matched him step for step, reassuring when Alex stumbled. It made it easier to lean in until his mouth was a breath from Forrest’s, to keep his eyes open and say, “I missed you.”_ _

__They spent most of their nights together but at the end of the work week, it felt like they’d hardly seen each other._ _

__Forrest caught him by the hem of his jacket and urged him close, shifting his hips and making space for Alex. He was silent, a softness in his eyes that made Alex’s heart flip flop. Alex kissed him. He fit his mouth to the full shape of Forrest’s and the rest was like tumblers of a lock sliding into place._ _

__The rasp of Forrest’s stubble against Alex’s skin as they kissed was as thrilling as Forrest’s hand slipping low on his hips to haul him closer until there was no place left to go._ _

__Alex smiled into Forrest’s mouth at the gratifying catch in his throat. From the beginning, Forrest had been unflappable. Chill, easy, go-with-the-flow. Except when it came to Alex. _You make me lose my mind_ , Forrest said once, a whispered confession in a tangle of limbs and sheets. _ _

__The shape of Forrest’s rings against the hot skin when his hand came up to cup the back of his neck was familiar now and still just as sexy as the first time, when Alex caught Forrest by surprise and kissed him in the glowing sunset after their _second_ first date. _ _

__Beside them, a door opened and slammed shut again and with it, Alex was pulled back down to solid ground. Making out in the half hidden shadows of the Pony was fun but Alex was still Alex._ _

__He eased the kiss to a pause. He trailed his lips down, over the stubble on Forrest’s jaw to the soft, vulnerable place underneath where he smelled like the desert, like sagebrush and citrus, like home._ _

__He could stay right here and be content - maybe forever - with this walking contradiction that was his boyfriend. Forrest Long, army vet and poet, fond of thrift store cardigans, shelter pets and the smell of old books, who adopted shelter pets, brewed his own beer and knew how to dismantle and reassemble an M16._ _

__Alex hadn’t stood a chance._ _

__When Forrest spoke, Alex felt the rhythm of it against his lips. “I want to take you home.” Forrest caught Alex with hands in his hair, carefully held him still so he could kiss him with an open, searching mouth._ _

__This was no longer new. He and Forrest were celebrating six months together, an epic of a milestone for someone who’s only relationship had been a volatile _come here, go away_ steeped in trauma and history. It _felt_ new, still. The same rush when Forrest smiled at him, the buzzing beneath his skin when he slid his arm around Alex’s waist and urged him close. The careful way Forrest constantly reminded him just how much he was wanted. _ _

__“Forrest,” Alex laughed. “We just got here.” It wouldn’t take much persuading. They’d had a rushed morning together before their respective jobs had drawn them in opposite directions for the better part of ten hours. He wouldn’t say no to cutting this short in favor of taking Forrest to bed and staying there for the weekend._ _

__Forrest hummed in agreement. “Can you blame me?” He trailed his lips along Alex’s jaw. “I have the hottest date here.”_ _

__Forrest reminded him - frequently and repeatedly - just how sexy he found Alex. He’d never been all that comfortable with praise of any kind, but he was learning. Learning to accept it as truth when Forrest said, _you’re gorgeous. Sexy. Perfect_. He was learning to believe him when Forrest touched him like he was someone worth worshiping. _ _

__“I want to have a drink,” Alex said, brushing his lips against the corner of Forrest’s mouth. “With my boyfriend.”_ _

__Alex loved the way he could still surprise Forrest. He loved the softness, the way his eyes went squinty when he smiled like that._ _

__“You don’t play fair.” Forrest said it like the idea pleased him to no end._ _

__“I play to win,” Alex said with a huff of laughter, caught by surprise as Forrest wrapped both arms around him._ _

__Alex had grown up in a house where physical punishment was more common than affection. Forrest hugged Alex like he understood, offering the safe space of his body, the comfort of his arms, always at Alex’s pace._ _

__His heart still hammered wildly when Forrest held him like this, the way he chipped away at Alex’s defenses with patience and an understanding that Alex hadn’t known he craved._ _

__Forrest let go after a couple of beats. “One drink,” he conceded with a smile. Alex stepped away, untangling himself from Forrest to discreetly put himself back together._ _

__Forrest was just as disheveled as Alex. His dark eyes had gone molten. His lips were pink and wet, his hair out of place from Alex’s hands in it._ _

__“Grab us a table?” Alex said, pushing the newly tinted purple strands of Forrest’s hair off his forehead. “I’ll get the drinks.”_ _

__Alex followed Forrest out of the tiny corridor and into the Friday night din of the Pony. The band was in full force and the bar was near capacity. Forrest cut through the crowd in search of a table and Alex watched him go, distracted by that bowlegged stride, the unapologetic set of his shoulders, always so at ease in his own skin._ _

__The sound of his name in a familiar voice, one he used to hear in his dreams caught his attention. He turned to find Michael on a stool, back against the scarred bar top._ _

__“Guerin,” Alex said. Michael was in his favorite spot, near the kitchen and in Maria’s domain. He had a beer and his ever-present bandana tied around his hand. He also had a fresh cut above his eye, hastily taped over with a piece of gauze that had turned rusty with blood._ _

__“Hey,” Alex said, reaching up out of habit. but some reached up out of habit. The cut was fresh and when he touched Michael’s skin, his thumb came away red. “What happened?”_ _

__“You know me,” Michael shrugged. The angsty cowboy Alex had returned from Iraq to find in place of Michael Guerin had begun to soften and slowly melt away. He no longer started pointless fights or got himself locked up because it was the only way to get his brother’s attention._ _

__Alex gave him a look of disbelief._ _

__Michael let out a sigh. “Wyatt Long and I had a disagreement,” he said, a hint of defensiveness that meant this was not something Alex wanted to get into. Michael’s expression softened. “I’m okay, Alex.”_ _

__Alex wiped his hand on the sleeve of Michael’s button down and took his beer from him. He took a sip._ _

__“Do you want to tell me about it?” He set the bottle on the bar._ _

__“Maybe later,” Michael replied. “You have someone waiting for you.” If there was anything there - irritation, anger, jealousy - Alex couldn’t tell. He’d stopped looking for it months ago._ _

__They weren’t quite friends, but they were working at it. Michael still only called him when he’d had a few too many beers or needed someone to sit with him while he worked at drowning his memories. But they could run into each other, like friends did, have a casual conversation without feeling like the world was on fire._ _

__It was getting easier._ _

__“You never did that with me,” Michael said. His voice had gone low, quiet, contemplative. Alex glanced at him and Michael nodded in the direction of the restrooms, where he and Forrest had been minutes ago._ _

__Months ago, the casual words and hint of bitterness might have touched something in Alex. He might have thrown the words back in Michael’s face. But he was _happy_ now. He was happy - genuinely - for Michael and Maria. Because he knew what a healthy, adult relationship was, how life changing it could be. He and Michael had never had that. _ _

__“We never did a lot of things together,” Alex replied quietly. There was regret. At one point in his life he’d wasted time cataloging all the ways they’d hurt each other, the secrets and half-truths, the parts of themselves they’d closed off from each other. Things might have been different if they’d made other choices._ _

__“You look good, Guerin,” Alex said._ _

__“You, too.” Michael had a way of saying so much with so little. It felt like the closure he’d never gotten after that night with Maria._ _

__There would always be this thread between them, this live wire connecting them, even as they moved on, fell in love with others, built lives for themselves. He was learning to accept it. Maybe one day he’d be grateful for it._ _

__Forrest was at a table against the far end of the place when Alex crossed the room with their drinks. He was still wearing his jacket, sitting upright. His body language shouted something Alex wasn’t understanding._ _

__“Hey.” He set their glasses on the table. “What’s going on?”_ _

__Forrest was twisting the ring he wore on his left hand, the Navajo silver they’d picked out together the first time Alex took him to his mother’s reservation._ _

__“Forrest.” Something had changed._ _

__Forrest looked up. All the playfulness, the fondness of five minutes ago was gone. “I knew you and he had a history,” Forrest said. His words were clipped, his movement terse. His attention was on Michael._ _

__Months ago, when it was clear Alex could be serious about Forrest, he shared parts of his and Guerin’s story. It was complex, painful, and not all of it was his to tell._ _

__“Guerin?” Alex took a seat. “Forrest. It’s been over for a long time.”_ _

__“Don’t tell me that,” Forrest said. There was nothing in his tone but resignation. “I saw the way you look at each other.”_ _

__He reached for his drink - Tennessee whiskey that Alex still found repulsive but liked the way it tasted on Forrest’s lips - and downed half of it._ _

__Forrest wore his emotions openly. He was free with his heart. It was one of dozen things that had draw them together from the beginning. He was shuttered now._ _

__“Forrest,” Alex said, alarmed. He covered Forrest’s hand. “Talk to me.”_ _

__“I knew he was your first love,” Forrest said tightly, like he was working to get the words out. “But you could have been honest with me.” He shook Alex off and got to his feet._ _

__Alex felt like he’d walked into the conversation halfway through. “I don’t know what you mean.” Confusion, and then something that felt a little like panic, took hold. Forrest was _leaving_. “Don’t - Forrest.”_ _

__He stopped and the heartache in his eyes, all over his face, hurt. “You could have told me I never stood a chance.”_ _

__“We’re friends,” Alex said helplessly. “But that’s it.” It was the truth, he realized, watching Forrest get ready to leave him here, his heart in his throat._ _

__“Alex,” Forrest said, exasperation and hurt dripping from the word. “I saw the way you look at each other. You’re still in love with him.”_ _

__He’d never said the words to Michael. _I loved you,_ he told him once, but never during their years pushing each other away and crashing back together. Never when it might have made a difference. _ _

__Forrest said it first. Once. _I love you, Alex. If you’re not ready to say it back, I can be okay with that._ He hadn’t said it again. _ _

__Alex watched Forrest walk away. For the first time in his life, he got up and followed._ _

__“Forrest,” he shouted as he hurried out of the bar. The sky was thick with storm clouds, the asphalt wet from the earlier rain. He stopped, letting his eyes adjust. Forrest was halfway across the lot. Alex called his name again._ _

__“Please, just stop,” Alex said, a terrifying desperation making his voice shake. He didn’t _do_ this. And maybe that was the problem. If he had, if he could share himself - his heart - things between him and Guerin would have worked out differently. And he wouldn’t be in the middle of the Wild Pony parking lot, watching Forrest walk away. _ _

__Forrest went still, yards from his car. He didn’t turn around._ _

__“I don’t do this,” Alex said out loud, heart in throat. “This,” he waved his hand, helpless. “Maybe if I did, you and I wouldn’t be here.”_ _

__Alex hadn’t fought for Guerin. He hadn’t fought for himself. He didn’t think he could survive making that same mistake again._ _

__“Forrest, please,” he said, words that didn’t come easily. “Turn around.”_ _

__Forrest didn’t suffer pride like his cousin, like Guerin, like Alex himself. He turned around. Alex could see it all over him, the fear he himself felt, like something huge and precious was slipping out of grasp._ _

__Alex continued. “Yes. I _was_ still in love with Michael.” He paused. _ _

__There was a sudden, sharp crack of thunder and without warning, the skies opened up. Alex looked up, stunned, as the summer rain poured down on them, drenching the gravel beneath his feet, seeping down the collar of his jacket._ _

__Forrest hadn’t moved. Alex closed the space between them to be heard over the storm._ _

__“I wanted - I _needed_ \- to move on. And you seemed like someone I could move on with.” Forrest watched him, emotion in his eyes, his mouth in a tight line. “Michael and I were never good for each other.”_ _

__Alex hesitated. “I know you don’t want to hear it, and I need to say it. I need you to know the truth.”_ _

__Forrest hadn’t so much as blinked, despite the downpour. “I will probably love Michael for the rest of my life,” Alex said, raising his voice as the rain fell harder. “But I’m not in love with him. Not anymore.”_ _

___My dad never said he loved me. Those words didn’t exist in our house._ Alex had confessed once, a month into a new relationship that had quickly started to mean something. Everything. _ _

__“I love you, Forrest,” Alex said. The words didn’t come naturally for him but it was as easy as breathing, looking at Forrest and spilling his heart open to him. “I love _you_ ,” he said again._ _

__They were toe to toe now. Water dripped from Forrest’s hair. Alex could feel warmth, despite the rain, coming off him. Forrest caught him around the waist. “I love you,” he said. Rain dripped from him. His hair was a mess, his clothes drenched, his jacket ruined. His eyes were bright. He was beautiful._ _

__Relief knocked the wind out of Alex. A crack of thunder split the air and they stumbled into each other, soaking wet, shivering despite the heat in the air. Alex kissed Forrest. There, in the middle of the Wild Pony parking lot, where he'd sought solace from a broken home life and nursed bloody knuckles, Alex gave his heart over to Forrest Long._ _

__They paused for breath and Alex let the words tumble out. “I never fought for him,” he said. “We never fought for each other.”_ _

__Forrest’s smile was shaky. “You’re fighting for me.” The shift in him was noticeable, the tension draining from him, deflating, as he made the decision to believe what Alex was telling him._ _

__“I am,” Alex replied._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm on [Tumblr](https://elliebirdthings.tumblr.com/)


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